The Original Pink Floyd Tour
Scraping The Barrel
And to prolong the sense of
torture, I round off with an entirely self-indulgent look back at the
best of what I never used. Well, if Pink Floyd themselves want to keep
their out-takes locked away, I'll inflict mine upon the planet instead.
I have little doubt that some of the material here is actually superior
to that which eventually found its way to the proper pages. But my
judgement has never been particularly good. This hitherto unseen shot
of Abbey Road rather proves it.
It's got nothing to do with
but this picture of the Albert Memorial, opposite the Royal Albert
is not only further proof of my contention above, but also goes to show
how spoiled old Albert was. Bloody great hall and a big monument too.
people think the Royal Family of today are expensive...
On the subject of big pointy
things, it might not be realised that in my picture of Alexandra
Palace, the television mast can't clearly be seen because some
inconsiderate sod put a tree in my way. Luckily I took a shot from
another angle which although slightly crooked, shows the mast but
relegates the trees to mere black bits with no
detail whatsoever. Serves them right. And yes, I was temporarily struck
as a result of shooting into the sun. So don't do it kids, especially
you're desperate for the toilet at roughly the same time and want to
find your way to some conveniences like I did, tried to and failed,
just going behind a bush which didn't provide as much cover as I or the
parents of nearby children would have liked...
Fortunately I had no such problems at Crystal Palace - if you discount
hours of travelling, getting off the train at the wrong station and
turning up on the day they decide to hold 2002's first concert of the
year, thus meaning there was no access to the Bowl unless you bought a
ticket. Still, it allowed me time instead to develop nausea
looking up at this big bastard, which just happens to be Alexandra
Whilst on Hungerford Brigde, I
took the picture of the Royal Festival Hall. But this, also taken from
the bridge, shows it up for the concrete monstrosity it is. Pray
silence for the city of London itself. In fact, it's a shame you can't
see this at full size. There's loads of landmarks to spot.
This one is a classic example
better (or more visible) than the very first shot of Battersea I used
on the site, which has long since gone anyway. I have no idea
why it lost out in the first place. Despite appearances, it was a
fairly hazardous shot to take.
Although I'm on the pavement, a fire engine was coasting along it too.
ran me over. But on the face of it, at least they'd have had the
equipment on board to untangle me from the wreckage. So it could have
Having travelled to the site of the Paris
Theatre by means of a particularly joyful bus ride (as bus rides go;
they didn't even check my ticket, so I could have got away with fare
dodging), I should have known that a pall would descend on the day's
future prospects thereafter. And so it proved, when this sight greeted
me. I went round the back too, but found to my dismay that even an out
of focus shot of scaffolding and plastic sheeting far surpassed the
rear of the building and its lack of visual
Again, this alternative shot of the old EMI HQ
in Manchester Square should really have made it to the main selection.
But it unaccountably didn't. Sorry.
Now here's a thing. According to a recently
broadcast programme here in the UK, Floyd's early shows at Powis
Gardens did take place at the church hall, but for unknown reasons they
showed a shot of All
Saints' Church instead of the Hall. Just as well I played safe on the
and took a picture of the church too. Now was I leaning, or is the
church subsiding badly? I can't decide.
Ever wanted to know what Britannia Row's
neighbours' place looks like? Of course not. That's why I'm wasting
precious seconds of your life showing you.
Well...that's what I originally thought. But
apparently that IS Britannia Row Studios, not that white thing next
door. That whitish rectangle on the bottom left is a lump of stone
which says it was the church hall. Nowadays it also sports a Britannia
Row logo too. So once again, many apologies. I know, hanging's too good
This is one of the many entrances to the
Cromwell Road subway. You have no idea how many minutes I had to wait
on those stairs for a relatively clear gap in the pedestrian traffic.
On reflecton, I have no idea why I bothered with the picture in the
Despite being looked at by workers of the
Wembley complex in a way which spoke such words as "You tosser!" when I
took this, I'm glad I did. For the twin towers of Wembley Stadium are
to be turned to dust, as and when they can decide what to put in its
Whilst lurking with intent to photograph the
London Arena, I came across this particularly appropriate daubing on
the side of a pillar belonging to a nearby building occupied by the
gigantic telecommunications company, BT.
You might remember me saying that I found some baffling graffiti
along the side of the Rainbow Theatre; imagine my elation when I
revisited earlier this year and found that nobody had cleaned it
Sensing I was on to a good thing with mindless vandalism, I kept my
eyes open for more of it - and I wasn't disappointed. Now, dear reader:
let me ask this of you. Under what circumstances would anybody wish to
liberate faecal matter and b) then advertise such sentiments on the
of a public highway? (Yes, I know what you're thinking - "And what kind
of arsehole then puts it on a website?")
For a while it seemed that anti-social and scatalogical behavior via
the medium of spray paint would be the apex; but as with so much human
development over the aeons, things are rarely cast in stone - mainly
because freshly-laid concrete's more useful if you can find it.
You'd never believe it if I said that I found this as a result of
appropriately taking a wrong turning and losing my way, would you?
Incidentally, that hideous shadow wearing a stupid hat and inexplicably
holding a digital camera up to his eye despite the LCD monitor facility
banishing the need for such manouvres is indeed your genial host. Hello!
Well, it's not remotely amusing in the slightest (much like the
of this affair), but one has to wonder at some things. I presume it was
up for the benefit of non-Londoner construction workers and the like,
comes under the category of "Better safe than sorry."
In the badlands of Bermondsey, one is never entirely unaware of
the fact that efforts have been made to clean up previously
neglected neighbourhoods in order to give the people who live there a
better quality of life. Just occasionally though, you get the
impression that they're pissing in the wind somewhat. Well, would you
feel safe on a road with a name like that?
Oh, come on. Are you *really* that surprised I was unable to hold the
camera steady? This amusingly named restaurant is just a bit beyond the
other side of the road to Chelsea Old Town Hall where, coincidentally
enough, a certain phat phuc we all know and love held his 50th birthday
party. I wonder if they'll give me a free meal in return for the
advertising I'm giving them, eh?
Obviously they arrived far too early for the show, or an unforeseen
technical hitch delayed the entry to the building - and what better way
to fill in the time and commit an act of malicious vandalism by
scribing their spleen into the aluminium outer walls of the London
Arena? Shame about the scriber who couldn't distinguish 'too' from
'to', though. Maybe they let him in before he could finish off the last
'o'. Nowadays of course, what with the Arena's closure and planned
demolition, the sentiment could just as easily be echoed in those
desperate to gain access to the wall of fame with Pink Floyd's
handprints before it's too late...
As one finishes gazing at Alexandra Palace and makes their way back
down the hill towards the railway station, what at first appears to be
a perfectly innocuous road sign on the way up becomes (thanks to some
slack-bowelled moaner) a monument to diahorrea on the way down...
At one end of Abbey Road lives the famous studios. At the other end
however, is situated a dreadful housing estate which is a masterpiece
of concrete terrorism. Even the people who live there want to wash away
the stain of association - or so I imagine, if this otherwise
inexplicable (albeit well-executed) home-made advert for a popular
brand of laundry detergent's anything to go by...
The old ones are the best. So.....I know I'm not the sharpest fork in
the toolbox. But am I missing something here?
Still, there's nothing like concise, well-designed and informative
sightseers - and thanks to an assortment of hoodie-sporting,
shaven-haired, malnourished custodial sentences waiting to happen, this
nothing like one....
Time to be cruel, I think. But not predujicial; dear me no. I'll mock,
malign and lacerate regardless of race, creed or colour. In truth I
can't say, or more accurately don't care, from whence these search
queries came in particular. They're just funny. Especially when one
considers that this website, by Google's unfathomable indexing, appears
somewhere as part of the results for what they were seeking in the
first place. What that in fact was to begin with, in more than a few
cases, remains entirely inexplicable anyway. All I *do* know is
that it seems to have fuck all to do with Pink Floyd. Mostly.
And finally...what could sum up my
feelings towards this entire project, which has occupied comparitively
little, yet so much of my time? How can one possibly encapsulate my
emotions at the conclusion of this monumental waste of effort and
money? I think this poorly executed animated GIF is the perfect ending.
It really does say it all
( Sadly, owing to AOL's blitzkrieg on my hosting account in late 2008
I've lost the last few frames. My piggy used to say "Fuck all that...."
and drift out of the picture. Not that it makes it funny, even now.)
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